Sunday, July 18, 2010

Why "lead singer"?

A couple of months ago on Facebook (my favorite hiding place), several friends from high school were reminscing about things we used to do. I felt they were insinuating that I was the bad girl and when I protested, one of them responded by saying, "COME ON! You were always the lead singer - the life of the party - the focus of attention." This stopped me in my tracks.... how had 20 years changed me so much? At the same time this discussion was going on, I realized that I skipped my 20th high school reunion and rsvped no to a life-long friend's baby shower. I had really wanted to attend those two events - so why didn't I?

I realized that I was hiding - hiding out and letting life pass me by. And all because I am FAT. FAT. There it is... the ex-lead singer is too fat to go out in public - to have normal relationships - to feel comfortable enough to be gazed upon. I have said it....

Now - I am doing something about it.

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