I am no longer a 286 lb woman with a 46 bmi. I have to embrace that each time I step on the scale. I worked hard for the weight I lost before my first fill - and I will have to work increasingly hard as I get closer to 160 pounds. I know this. I know that losing 130 lbs is different than losing 61. Losing at all is a big deal, right? I have lost weight before, but never could I continue losing and never EVER could I keep it off. I weigh 221 lbs today. So why am I frustrated that my scale is moving slower? Deep breath... I am scared that once I hit one year, I won't lose any more weight. That is 6 months from now - why am I freaking out? I probably won't have many more 14 pound months ahead - and that scares me. Can I live with 5 lb months? I have to be able to. I have to be able to see the positive in a 5 lb month. 5 lbs is 5 lbs right?
So much talk online now about the FDA potentially lowering the BMI requirements for the band. I read too much - I read about lack of long term data and it scares me. What does my future hold? Up until now, I just wanted to get the band and get skinnier and healthier. Will I reach my goal? Will I be able to maintain it? Statistics say that 75% of all lapband patients will lose 65% of their excess body weight in 18 months. My statistics show that I have lost 50% of my excess body weight in 5 months. That's good right? But what's waiting around the corner? Can I really do this?
Ok enough Molly - let's focus on the positive - I ran 2 miles straight yesterday. I did it! And I walked away... not limping ;) If that is not a significant improvement, nothing is.
Yup, you're right - focus on the positive, what you have accomplished (which is absolutely amazing!) and more importantly on what you now know you CAN accomplish.
ReplyDeleteYou can do this! You've done so much already, the rest will happen because you know how to make it happen!!
Wow, you ran 2 miles yesterday! I'm only assuming but I bet you couldn't do that before your band! According to the data (and what does the data know anyway?), you are doing so much better than the average person. Keep going and don't get discouraged just because you aren't at your goal weight within a year. You will get there and it will feel GREAT!
ReplyDeleteyou are totally doing what I am doing! But I feel the fact that I am preparing for this it won't happen! That I am determined to make this work. We will be an average in those statistics but we make our own ending! We will do it! I know.
ReplyDelete2 flipping miles! Amazing! Besides. 5lbs in a month is more then I would have lost before! Remember that!