Monday, August 15, 2011

Come on...be honest.

Deep inside most of us, in a part we infrequently access, is that little bitty part that says, "I know I cheated and took the easy way out."  That's the part that society has trained us to feel, we, the bariatric patient.

Have you read this? 

I read it and had my two programmed responses.  First and quickest, "OMG, I totally cheated".  Then, the second one I have developed pre and post-op.  "It's totally not cheating, they don't understand how hard it is."

Honestly, 12 months out, my real answer lies somewhere between the two. 

Why if someone is successful, does everyone else have to attribute it to cheating?  And WTF is cheating anyway???  Did I copy someone else's answer to weight loss?  It's it only cheating if there is a winner?  Or a high scorer?  Do they call people cheaters if they are last place???  And when did this become a competition??  Don't we wish health and wellbeing on all of human kind???  Are people in UN refugee camps cheaters because they found government sponsored shelter?  I mean, honestly, it's ridiculous.  This woman who wrote this piece is a little hostile about a game that I would argue NONE of us signed up to play.  Does it only count if you work harder than someone else?  We only deserve to be skinny if we follow her rules?  Am I ranting???

Where's my answer?  I was smart enough to know I needed help (notice the word HELP, not CHEAT).  I readily admit that I was not as good as our writer here at establishing my own limits.  It's like saying a recovering alcoholic is a cheater if they go to AA instead of kicking their addiction at home. 

My sister and I once had a conversation like this - only it was honest and constructive.  My sister is thin - but thin because she works her BUTT off at it.  She teaches fitness classes, sometimes twice a day, and regulates the hell out of her eating.  She admits to a moderate exercise addiction.  And when I was banded, she really didn't want to talk to me about it.  She would grimace at the mention of the changes in my life.  But then one day, I just asked her, "Why do I feel like you are not supporting me here?"  And you know what, she answered - honestly.  She told me that she was essentially jealous - that she worked so hard every day and she wished that she did not have to work so hard.  SO THAT'S IT FOLKS - to the outsider, it seems easier than dieting and exercising.  We insiders, however, know that it is not guaranteed and it is not easy.  We all still have to work, only we had to have surgery and had to endure the struggle of obesity to get the surgery. 

If cheating means that when I work, I get results - then so freaking be it.  I CHEATED!!!!!!


4 comments:

  1. amen sister!!! I might keep this around so I remember this when I am questioned myself.

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  2. THIS is exactly why my sister has told me repeatedly to PLEASE not tell anyone I have the band. She says "then you won't get any credit for all the hard work you put into it", and she's right.

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  3. I have to agree with the above. I honestly know that I could lose about 40-50% of my excess weight with just the portion restriction the band give me. However, I'm going all the way. I want to lose ALL of my excess weight. I don't tell people about my band because when I exercise and work my butt off, I want my effort given the credit. Not (just) my band.

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  4. Wow. That lady was angry in that post! I, of course, agree with you. She has no idea what we go through. People on the outside only see just that - the OUTSIDE! They will never truly know that we work just as hard as them. I chose the band because I had lost a good amount of weight before and gained it all back plus more. I wanted this to help me get BACK on track and keep it off for more than a year or two. The lap band, simply put, is my way of keeping myself in check. Eff that lady. For realz.

    I never saw the lap band as cheating, I saw it as me admitting to myself that I had failed at losing weight and keeping it off on my own. It was my way of hitting rock bottom, and quite frankly, I think I have worked a lot harder this time around than when I lost weight the first time on my own...mentally and physically.

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