Bye Bye Online Shopping

When I was fat, I shopped online.  At the time, I would have told you "I know what I like and where to get it" but now that I can shop in places other than Lane Bryant and Old Navy Online, I realize that this was just a reflection of my lack of hope in finding something I really liked. 

I don't want to shop online anymore.  I WANT to go into the store and try stuff on and make sure, absolutely sure, that I love it to pieces.  Man, being UNFAT is super cool.  Sure, I still have my zappos.com addiction.  But no more Old Navy for me... not unless I go in and try it on.  And no more 5 different colors of the same sweater, I want unique pieces - interesting pieces - and ONE of them.  There will be another sweater, another shirt, another blouse that I love.  I don't need the overkill anymore.

It's pretty fun ;)

Eat Because You Have To

I have posted this many times on here - but the mark of a successful bandster is a person who ultimately realizes that the goal is to see how LITTLE you can eat when banded, rather than HOW MUCH you can eat while banded.  This seems like a small nuance, but it is really the key.  No matter how you choose to lose (tight, filled, not filled, dieting), this shift in mentality and relationship with food is ultimately the trick.  How little can I eat and not feel hungry?  How little can I eat and still run 5 miles?  How little can I eat and keep my hair?  How little can I eat and still feel great?

I take vitamins.  I am super tight.  I really honestly only eat protein.  I'll drink a V8 on occasion only when I realize how long it has been since I saw a vegetable.  I don't eat fruit.  I can't eat lettuce or spinach.  No bread, pasta, rice.  Somewhere around January, this SEEING HOW LITTLE I CAN EAT thing kicked in and I learned very quickly what my balance was. 

This is what I ate for lunch today - half of the crab cake and half of the salmon.  I knocked the protein out of the park, got in some good fat (and some not so hot fat) and was super happy and satisfied.  Salmon was my least favorite thing in the world pre-band - now I live for it.  It goes down so nicely ;)

My ass

Ok ok...I promise to go back to writing some meaningful posts about my journey and my experience with the lap band... but can I just I have one more moment of completely purposeless posts?

Yes... that's my ass.  And yes, I have it in jeans made for some 20 year old.  Why?  BECAUSE I FREAKING CAN FOR THE FIRST DARN TIME.  My daughter, who is 8, is the coolest of the cools.  She participated in this nonsensical adventure and was so funny and so supportive.  She gets me - and I get her.  It's sublime.

Goal pic...

Going on Thursday to see my surgeon and have to take my before and after pics for the wall of fame.  How about this one for my goal pic?

The aftermath ;)

So...1.5 lbs to go to goal and I am wondering if I should go for 155.  I have an appointment with my surgeon next week and I was planning on asking him to loosen me up a smidge.  But....

Is this normal?

Also....is it normal for me to now be noticing the aftermath of my weight plummet?  I have really droopy boobies... and my stomach looks like a disaster.  I have hope though because LAPBAND GAL had such an amazing change in her stomach once she got and stayed at goal for 6 months. 

I worried a lot that I would get to this point and feel somehow lost - or disappointed.  Like I no longer had a goal.  And that's not the case at all.  I feel good - like now I can go on to focus on other things that are a priority for me.  I feel like I am just getting to know myself and I am excited about what lies ahead for me (including a tummy tuck and a breast lift - HAHAHAHAH). 

Trying to lose weight sucks.  Being successful at it is better - but it still is a process.  Now I am ready to live.  My body is not holding me back anymore and my mind is chomping at the bit to get out there and do things I have always dreamed of.

Stay the course my compatriots... it is so beautiful here.  Don't ever give up on yourselves - EVER.