They Get Used to It

I remember in the beginning being so frustrated by eating out.  Waiters are drug pushers with aprons and I always felt so harassed.  NO, I don't want anything to drink and NO, I don't want anything but the soup.  And YES, everything is fine even though I am not scarfing down the food you placed in front of me.  I had asked my surgeon about how he dealt with it, and he had very bluntly told me, "Tell them to go F*&K themselves."  He also said that you get over it - and your favorite restaurants get used to it.

You know what.... it's true.  I don't give a damn about what someone has to say about what I eat or don't eat.  I don't care if the server thinks I have lost my mind because I don't even want the stupid free glass of water.  I don't care.  AND, it's true - at my favorite restaurants, they get me by now.  They know the deal.  I don't want the fluff, I don't want the starch, don't put bread on my table.  And DON'T ASK ME IF EVERYTHING IS OKAY ;)

The other thing I have silently noticed is that my husband has finally, after a year, figured this thing out.  He doesn't put pasta on my plate anymore and he doesn't shop for 4 anymore.  He knows that if I am going to have a drink with him, it is not at dinner time.  He has adapted (but don't let him read this).  This is just who I am now and what seemed like a shock and a battle in the beginning, is now just the way I live my life.

Bye Bye Online Shopping

When I was fat, I shopped online.  At the time, I would have told you "I know what I like and where to get it" but now that I can shop in places other than Lane Bryant and Old Navy Online, I realize that this was just a reflection of my lack of hope in finding something I really liked. 

I don't want to shop online anymore.  I WANT to go into the store and try stuff on and make sure, absolutely sure, that I love it to pieces.  Man, being UNFAT is super cool.  Sure, I still have my zappos.com addiction.  But no more Old Navy for me... not unless I go in and try it on.  And no more 5 different colors of the same sweater, I want unique pieces - interesting pieces - and ONE of them.  There will be another sweater, another shirt, another blouse that I love.  I don't need the overkill anymore.

It's pretty fun ;)

Eat Because You Have To

I have posted this many times on here - but the mark of a successful bandster is a person who ultimately realizes that the goal is to see how LITTLE you can eat when banded, rather than HOW MUCH you can eat while banded.  This seems like a small nuance, but it is really the key.  No matter how you choose to lose (tight, filled, not filled, dieting), this shift in mentality and relationship with food is ultimately the trick.  How little can I eat and not feel hungry?  How little can I eat and still run 5 miles?  How little can I eat and keep my hair?  How little can I eat and still feel great?

I take vitamins.  I am super tight.  I really honestly only eat protein.  I'll drink a V8 on occasion only when I realize how long it has been since I saw a vegetable.  I don't eat fruit.  I can't eat lettuce or spinach.  No bread, pasta, rice.  Somewhere around January, this SEEING HOW LITTLE I CAN EAT thing kicked in and I learned very quickly what my balance was. 

This is what I ate for lunch today - half of the crab cake and half of the salmon.  I knocked the protein out of the park, got in some good fat (and some not so hot fat) and was super happy and satisfied.  Salmon was my least favorite thing in the world pre-band - now I live for it.  It goes down so nicely ;)

My ass

Ok ok...I promise to go back to writing some meaningful posts about my journey and my experience with the lap band... but can I just I have one more moment of completely purposeless posts?

Yes... that's my ass.  And yes, I have it in jeans made for some 20 year old.  Why?  BECAUSE I FREAKING CAN FOR THE FIRST DARN TIME.  My daughter, who is 8, is the coolest of the cools.  She participated in this nonsensical adventure and was so funny and so supportive.  She gets me - and I get her.  It's sublime.

Goal pic...

Going on Thursday to see my surgeon and have to take my before and after pics for the wall of fame.  How about this one for my goal pic?