So, what to do? I have 28 bags of clothes in my attic. I am going to have a sale. Soon...ok therapist? Soon. A big sale in my garage. Whatever I don't sell, I will donate. I have over 17 pairs of jeans. My husband helped me bag it all and he was amazed how many items still had tags on. I tried to explain to him that when nothing looks good, you keep buying different things, hoping to be able to piece together something that you feel good in. He was very patient and supportive but figures that there were over $1700 in clothes that still had tags. I know this is really bad. I resolve to never do it again. I will love what I buy or I won't buy it. I promise. (I love that dress.)
But I have no plans to stay this size. My goal is to be a 10. And since I am now between a 16 and 14 regular, I cannot buy clothes. I will not buy clothes. Yet I have a big pitch on Wednesday and I have to look great. Can't wear my new dress because I think they want to see my ideas not my boobs. Thus my anxiety....
On a good note, six months ago I would have done anything to avoid this type of meeting. Me standing up in front of a bunch of strangers...but not now. I don't feel like anyone will look at me and think, "whoa...she's huge.". That's a major deal. But what to wear?
Also - just as a follow up to my previous post - I think people think that I am agressive but that if they can endure the noise, they can still get me to do whatever it is that they want. I spend a lot of time doing things for other people that I really don't want to do. I also give up things I love sometimes. Sure, I yell and scream and say no - but I always end of doing it. My shrink is right. I have to shut down the aggressiveness (that is a defensive response) and up the assertiveness. Still taking ideas on how exactly to accomplish this.....
Since you are totally against buying clothesn this does pose a dilemna. However, the presentation on Wednesday is a big deal. Instead of spending tons on a wardrobe, dropt by a consignment store and find a killer suit for your presentation.
ReplyDeleteYou find some of the best deals at the consignment and thrift stores. This will help with your transition until you are at goal and purchasing only the size that makes you smile.
For the clothes I say hit the sales racks at Lord & Taylor. There are always great deals and anything you buy in a 16 now can be taken in at least one if not two sizes, so can travel with you.
ReplyDeleteAs for the assertiveness, maybe go back to that parenting practice of saying what you mean and doing what you say. Even if you just start small. Don't go crazy in your response to people, tell them why your position is what it is, and just stick to it. It will only take a few times for them to realize that there won't be any getting around it, and they'll only ask you to compromise when it really is important.
You need to find some local consignment shops and shop there. Since you will still be moving down in sizes, you can find what fits you right now and then return the clothes to the same shop when they don't fit anymore.
ReplyDeleteRight now I have a whole new wardrobe. None of my old stuff fits me anymore, so I bought all new stuff. I am gagging a little at the thought of all of this new stuff being too big by the end as well. I get where you're coming from. By the time this is all over, I will probably have bought 2 separate new wardrobes. And while I have in fact needed new clothes, I haven't needed the amount that I have bought. Shopping is just fun now :)
ReplyDeleteI third the thrift store rec, or even look out for some garage sales. You can get just enough to get you by.
A consignment shop may be just what you need! I like the idea of wearing the clothing and giving it back when you are through!
ReplyDeleteAnd, I've been thinking about your previous post about "assertive/agressive".. I suppose that this is something that I've learned to deal with over time. Like you, I found myself always caving in, being overwhelmed, and never being understood. With age (I'm almost 50 now) comes wisdom - AND an attitude that says "don't like it? your problem, not mine" :) I've learned to say "no". I have found that my time, my days are precious and it is my choice to live my life the way I choose and with whom I choose . I've also found that I have very little tolerance for those who "overwhelm" me, or patience with those who push me.. I'm never pushy or nasty about it - just assertive about it.
I know your meeting is over, but go to good will (often clothing is new) or value world, or thrift shops. You can get clothing for cheap and since you won't be wearing it long you don't have to (love) it forever. They have skirts, dresses, some really nice stuff for not much money. I got some $100 shoes for only a buck brand new =)
ReplyDeleteP.s i am utopianaurora on lap-band forum