No way....

So...I like most heavy people, I dramatically underestimated what I was eating. On my permanent diets, I would always find myself saying "I ate so well today" but if I had ever sat down and actually wrote down what I had eaten, I would have seen that my mind and reality were always a little askew. My mind said 1500 calories, reality was 2200 calories.

The band has flipped this for me. Last week, a friend of mine who is a nutritionist asked me how many calories per day I was consuming. I told her that I was sure it was around 1500 calories per day - but that I had not written it down in about 2 weeks. She asked if I would track for a day or two and show her what I was eating....

End of first day, typed everything into mylapbandjourney's fitday tracker and this is what I got: Calories 1,097 Fat 38.4 Carbohydrates 99.7 Protein 74.4
Not 1500 calories...not really even close. Day two - do the same thing - and this is what I get: Calories 996 Fat 35 Carbohydrates 87.5 Protein 82.4

So...I am still deluded about how much I eat, just the other way. Which I guess is a cool thing for a fat girl to realize. But on the other hand, I also need to accept that I am feeding my body now - not my boredom, not my stress, not my emotions. Straight up, I don't have alot of room to mess around - and I need to get the most bang for my buck ;)

I have another fill appointment on Monday - don't know if I need one or not. Keep you all posted.

Back to the grind...

I have not confessed yet on this blog that I used to have somewhat of a workout obsession. It kind of fits my personality... the all or nothing thing. I used to go to the gym for 2 hours per day, every day of the week. Of course, I lost no weight doing it but I was kind of addicted.

Yesterday, I sent my kids back to school and with that, I returned to the G-Y-M.....

It felt good. I had no pain. And let me just say, weighing 24 lbs less than the last time I mounted that treadmill sure does feel amazing....

I am secretly worried that I will stall my weight loss. But I fight with myself and tell myself not to worry about it. That I need to be fit and healthy - and TONE and that even if I stall for a little while, it will all be worth it in the end.

Have I mentioned lately that I love my band?

Bummer

I broke up with Sushi tonight. After a long and passionate love affair, we came to a painful end. My band does not like seaweed. It was the most painful meal I have had to date - I tried to take the roll apart but then was crazy embarassed at the waste land of rice and seaweed left behind. Oh well.... I can give up sushi if you promise me a size 12.

Sweet spot?

I am 3 days into my 5cc life and I am, as usual, contemplating everything ;) Eating is really a chore. I wonder if the band works when we just give up trying to eat? Here's my day yesterday.... 8am, one cup of coffee (been mixing in protein powder) 12:30pm, 1/2 of a 3 egg omelette with cheese and tomatoes. 5:00pm, drank a 6 oz protein shake with water. 7:00pm, 3 ounces of chicken, 1/8 cup brown rice, two spears of broccoli and one slice of tomato (this took me one hour to eat). And the crazy thing is that I am not hungry in between - in fact, I feel that way you feel when you are so full that the idea of eating digusts you. And the reality is, chewing things to liquid gets boring and since I have no option, I really only eat because I have to. Could this be my sweet spot? I guess only the scale can tell. Today I weigh 262 lbs... down from my 286 lb start 6 weeks ago on surgery day. I am so scared to fail. I need this to work. This is my last hope.

OMG....

Ok - so those waiting to be banded, and those newly banded don't really have a clue what they are in store for....

Went today to get another fill... mostly went in to the city to see my friend, but she was getting a fill, so I got one too. Holy cow.

I have 4ccs in my band. Today, they added 2. I could not swallow water. They backed out .5 and then they backed out another .5. We think we have restriction in the beginning...we don't. We have disinterest in food. Or we have excitement about being banded. We are dieting and calling it the band. We are cutting portions and attributing it to the surgery.

Today, I feel banded. If I sip too much water, I gurgle. I feel pressure - FROM WATER ALONE. Oh man....