Halloween Sucks

Candy is everywhere!!!!!!! ARHGHGHGHG..... and chocolate is pretty easy to eat IF you are hungry, have not eaten and aren't drinking. So this is my solution, I drink water incessantly. If not water, then Vitamin Water Zero or a G2. It is painful to eat something when you are drinking so this works pretty well as a deterrent. And I am about to hit 40 lbs right when my house fills up with candy.... why.....???

New Orleans - Diet Blower?

Oh yeah...I'm not on a diet. And oh yeah...I can't blow the non-existent diet.

Old me moment....diet diet diet, go away for the weekend and gain 5 lbs that took me one month to take off. Be stressed - so stressed I didn't want to go anywhere. That's the old me - the pre-band me. The new me just realized that it doesn't matter where I go, I won't be able to overeat and I won't be able to sabotage myself. Can you imagine???

I have lost 5lbs since my fill last Thursday. I have to eat SUPER slow - and I really have quite a lot of restriction. I am still sometimes frustrated by it - but really, I am super grateful. I weighed 247.8 lbs this morning. My size 18s are loose. I can wear shorts in New Orleans and not be the fat sweaty girl. Have I mentioned lately that I love my band?

Frustration

Frustration has set in a little. I had a .5 cc fill on Thursday and I really cannot eat anything. I had to hide in the bushes at soccer yesterday to spit up a drink of lemonade that I took too quickly. All that time that the doctors tell you to chew thoroughly and sip your drinks, it was practice. Practice for this time where the band is unforgiving and nothing goes through that hasn't been completely measured and masticated. I am kind of frustrated.... ;( My sister is visiting and she was not really supportive of this surgery - and then to have her see me struggle like this - it is a little embarassing. She didn't even comment on my weight loss!!

I keep telling myself that this is a rough period and it will pass and I will make the adjustment. I am bolstered by my doctor's visit and their positively thrilled feedback on my progress to date. I have been chugging along - 5lbs in 3 weeks. I cannot complain about that - and the doctor is extremely impressed with my progress. I have to keep reminding myself that this was the point - I want to be skinnier. I want to wear nice clothes. Yesterday I wore size 18 skinny jeans with 3 inch heel boots - I felt so different. No longer the FATEST girl in the room. I have to keep focusing on this - and not on the other things.

One note on the physical....I can feel my band now. Maybe it is the swelling... but I can feel it. If I lie on my left side, I feel my organs pushing on it. It's strange - I never felt it before. But as the nurse said, we are now getting to the sweet spot - to the kind of restriction that I am supposed to have. I don't go back until November 15 so it will be interesting to see how I settle into this over the next couple of weeks.

Party (Revised Version)

Last night, my husband and I threw our 4th annual Tapas Party. This party is the biggest in our group of friends. 40 people come to our house and my husband cooks for days. This year, the party was very different for me. Usually I eat endlessly for 5 hours, drink enough to stay buzzy for hours and have a great time. Different party this year since my band was in attendance.

I am a tequila drinker. I can drink a lot of tequila. And I did do one shot - and let me just say, it was not pleasant. The tequila hits the pouch and hangs there for a little while - not fun. Tequila is not meant to sit in your esophagus. It burned. I did not do it again. I did drink some skinny girl margaritas and I hung out with the greatest friends anyone could ever ask for. I did not eat however. Late in the evening, I ate some chicken from the inside of an enchilada - and I ate some ceviche. But I can assure you, I was the ONLY hungry person at midnight.

The party was very different for me this time. I still had fun. I still loved being with the people. But this party is a food party... and I am no longer a food person. Do I sound a little bummed? Maybe I was... for a couple of hours, but today, I don't feel like crap. There's a definite upside.

The Gym.....

I had the best workout this morning. I had my IPod cranking and I really pushed myself hard. And I wore a TANK TOP to the gym.... no way. Usually I would be fully covered. Thought I would share a picture of where I am right now - 32 pounds down and under 100 to go. Love my band ;)