In my efforts to own it, this is the first week in 8 months that I have gained weight... I weigh 200.6 lbs. Yes, I have my period. But come on now.....I want to be in onederland so badly.... so frustrated.
Positive note of the day: I ran 3.13 miles in 35 minutes. This is the 5k distance goal I had. Now I have to be able to do it outside...but it's still too cold. Maybe next week...
Negative note of the day: I don't think I am eating enough. Burned 565 calories at the gym. Tracked all my intake and ate 732 calories. That cannot be good. I think I need an unfill... or maybe a protein shake right now....
Weird observation of the day: A woman came up to me at the gym and she told me that I was shrinking in front of her eyes and that she was working so hard at Weight Watchers and had only lost 2 lbs in 3 weeks and she wanted to know what I was doing. There was a piece of me that wanted to say "I only eat protein, no carbs and I work out every day" but then I felt bad. Why should I make this woman feel like she would ever have the success I have had doing a traditional diet? I sure as hell never did. Thousands and thousands of my dollars went to Weight Watchers over the years, and I never ever lost and kept off anything. So I had to tell her... it's my usual... "I have had a little help in the form of a lap band." Oh really? So what do you eat? So I gave her my original line, "Protein, no carbs and lots of exercise." She had no idea what a lap band was, but hey, at least I was honest ;) I then contemplated this discussion while I ran. I mean, what is a lap band other than a reminder? It's a full time reminder that I shouldn't keep eating and I shouldn't eat crap. My reminder doesn't go away. It doesn't take time off. It's like the will power I never had, 24/7. But reminder or no reminder, we have to do the work. And I need to remember this and give myself credit. So should you ;)
Monday, March 28, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
8 Months...
Eight months ago I got my band. I will preface what follows with a disclaimer: I have my period. I feel bitchy. I wanted to be in Onederland by today.
On the bright side, I looked like this eight months ago this morning:
I feel like may be I am too tight. Eating is a tedious chore and I have found myself opting to NOT eat just to avoid the hassle. My fill nurse always tells me to watch the inclination to stay liquid and I have to fight it every day. My band gets so tight when I have my period that I struggle to even drink coffee or tea. I read the discussion boards about people who lose 100 lbs and never get a fill and I wonder if I am needlessly torturing myself. I go back in two weeks and I wonder if it wouldn't be smart to have them pull a half cc from the band just to see how I feel. Should I pay attention to the fact that some people lose without fills? Or with just one fill? Should I be concerned that the majority of my weight loss to date comes post-fill? Will I ever get to goal???
As you can see, I am having a bad day. It happens. I hate hormones. I hate the fact that the more weight I lose, the shorter my cycle. I am now down to a 22 day menstrual cycle - do the math, that means I have had my period twice in March. It sucks. And onederland is .1 lbs away... just outside my grasp.
On the bright side, I looked like this eight months ago this morning:
I feel like may be I am too tight. Eating is a tedious chore and I have found myself opting to NOT eat just to avoid the hassle. My fill nurse always tells me to watch the inclination to stay liquid and I have to fight it every day. My band gets so tight when I have my period that I struggle to even drink coffee or tea. I read the discussion boards about people who lose 100 lbs and never get a fill and I wonder if I am needlessly torturing myself. I go back in two weeks and I wonder if it wouldn't be smart to have them pull a half cc from the band just to see how I feel. Should I pay attention to the fact that some people lose without fills? Or with just one fill? Should I be concerned that the majority of my weight loss to date comes post-fill? Will I ever get to goal???
As you can see, I am having a bad day. It happens. I hate hormones. I hate the fact that the more weight I lose, the shorter my cycle. I am now down to a 22 day menstrual cycle - do the math, that means I have had my period twice in March. It sucks. And onederland is .1 lbs away... just outside my grasp.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Insurance...again
After my previous post about positive news from my health insurance, here comes a doozy from my life insurance. I took out a 10 year term policy when my first child was born. He's ten. The policy is up. I need to get a new one but it turns out that the underwriters hear GASTRIC and only think bypass. They freak out - and act as if I were the biggest risk they could possibly have. I mean really, didn't I just drastically extend my shelf life?? I did not have any comorbities pre-op, so I am pretty sure that I don't now have any either. Insurance companies need to catch up to what is going on in obesity today. The gastric band is not a gastric bypass. Not in any way other than we all hopefully lose weight. Frustrating to say the least. My agent is recommending that I wait until my one year band anniversary to renew the policy and thus lower my rate by 40% - forty percent...can you believe it????
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Panni...whatever
For those of you interested, I still am not in onederland...I weigh 200.2 lbs today and have cramps and am generally annoyed. I have put my scale away because weighing yourself during your period is masochistic. I might miss 199, but 198 or 197 will feel just as good I'm sure.
On to a more exciting topic.... my health insurance confirmed today that they will pay for 70% of a panniculectomy. If you're a bariatric patient, I am sure you know what this is - for those of you who don't, it is the removal of that skin that hangs down over your pubus once you have lost a lot of weight.
I am pretty darn happy about this because I really really hate this part of my body. I can live with anything else, but I cannot live with this pouch of loose hanging skin. I had two c-sections and weighed 313 pounds the day my 12 pound daughter was born. I am so stretched out and surgically altered down there, I just need a reset (aka, fresh start in the tummy area). They want you at a stable weight for 6 months and to be at least one year post-op. This is even more of an incentive for me to lose my remaining 40 pounds by July 27th, which was always my goal. That would be 126 pounds in one year. And it would set me on course for this tummy reset for Christmas - what a delightful present that would be!
On to a more exciting topic.... my health insurance confirmed today that they will pay for 70% of a panniculectomy. If you're a bariatric patient, I am sure you know what this is - for those of you who don't, it is the removal of that skin that hangs down over your pubus once you have lost a lot of weight.
I am pretty darn happy about this because I really really hate this part of my body. I can live with anything else, but I cannot live with this pouch of loose hanging skin. I had two c-sections and weighed 313 pounds the day my 12 pound daughter was born. I am so stretched out and surgically altered down there, I just need a reset (aka, fresh start in the tummy area). They want you at a stable weight for 6 months and to be at least one year post-op. This is even more of an incentive for me to lose my remaining 40 pounds by July 27th, which was always my goal. That would be 126 pounds in one year. And it would set me on course for this tummy reset for Christmas - what a delightful present that would be!
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